Swallow

Tooth and Dagger presents the subjective pharmacology of a generation, and a city. Vancouver, here’s what you’ve been taking:

Name: Mercedes

Sex: Female

Age: 26 years

What: Whey

Why:

Back in first year I used to crack raw eggs into smoothies and split milk with lemon juice to simmer out the whey because my brain was working so hard I figured I needed the protein and minerals. I was cold all the time and my mother said I needed more meat on my bones, so I drank oil by the spoonful, or stirred it into my yogurt. These days I take whey protein isolate in my breakfast shake because my trainer tells me to. I’m sick of the taste, but I keep drinking it because the literature is so good, and because I have to avoid catabolism to keep muscle on. Once I tried to drink it mixed with water instead of juice. The stuff dries just like jizz.

What else:Zinc and Tri-Chromium

Why:

I read that these help to regulate hormones. I’ve always felt a little out of whack, so I’m credulous to such claims. It’s only been two weeks; no verdict yet.

What else:Low dose oral contraceptive

Why:

Speaking of hormones. I take the pill for endometriosis (which is latin for “cramps like death throes”). A necessary condition for endometriosis is too much estrogen, and apparently the progesterone in the pill is the antidote. Last month I tried skipping the blanks and jumping right into the next pack. My doctor pointed out that in the good old days I would have been pregnant three or four times by now, and maybe all this menstruation is too much for my body. Also, I’ve read that the ‘menstruation’ experienced on the pill is symbolic anyway. After seven days of extra pills my breasts were hard and full of knots, so I stopped. Maybe I’ll work up to it.

Swallow is a completely unscientific ongoing study, arranged by Reanna Alder. Results will be presented in each issue of Tooth and Dagger. If you wish to submit the contents of your “medicine cabinet”, please email: swallow@toothanddagger.com